I remember Sunday morning’s in my house growing up. My father would sit at the dining room table with the local Sunday newspaper and the Sunday New York Times and sit, quietly and reflectively pouring over the pages, going through each page until both papers were an untidy mess. While he started with the comics, he nonetheless got through it all. I suppose there was something meditative about it, feeling, at least on one day during the week, that you were up to date on the goings on in the world. Once the news was fully digested, he would then settle in for a prolonged attempt at the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle.

I like to do the same. There is something old school about reading an actual newspaper that just feels right. (I must admit I do get the daily New York Times on my iPad as well!) Nevertheless, it is a daunting, time consuming task to read the voluminous words of every story in the Times, especially when the stories are so incredibly depressing and sometimes, downright scary. It seems as if we are surrounded by news stories of crushing cynicism and of never-ending dread and fear. Can reading a newspaper today really be otherwise?
It reminds me of that famous joke of three elderly Jewish men sitting in a café in pre-war Germany. Two are reading the newspaper of the International Herald Tribune and bemoaning the approaching doom and gloom of world war. The third is sitting smiling as he reads his paper, Der Sturmer – The Storm, the weekly Nazi newspaper of the time. His friends ask him, “How could you be reading that paper and be smiling?” He answers, “While you are reading about the doom and despair of the world, I am reading about how powerful the Jewish community is. Did you know we own all the banks and control the entire world?” Where one sees despair and falsehoods and lies, another sees optimism and possibility. While the joke speaks to Jewish hope in the future, it got me wondering about how we have become so instinctively cynical.

Cynicism is defined as believing that people are motivated by self-interest; distrustful of human sincerity or integrity or doubtful as to whether something will happen or is worthwhile. How did we get this way? To be sure we have been jaded by painful personal experiences. We have lived through the trauma of national and international crises – economic, political or military, and we read about terrible troubling events in our newspapers every day. The scars of events of the past continue to haunt us, so we cut ourselves a little cynical slack. However, Judaism calls upon us to remember that the hallmark of our Jewish sensibilities is to believe in the power of hope and return of the joyous in every moment of every encounter of every day. This is best encapsulated by the idea found in Pirke Avot , “Make for yourself a teacher, acquire for yourself a friend and give the other person the benefit of the doubt – Dan L’chaf zechut.”

Ah yes…easier said than done. A naïve outlook on the world. Experience forces you to think otherwise. All cynical responses. Note the progression: from teacher to friend to everyone. Judging people favorably is the seed of positive relationships with people. This is in line with the Jewish approach that sees a pure, good soul at the core of each person. One of my teachers, Dr. Sarah Lee used to say, “Never attribute to malevolence what you can attribute to ignorance.” Dan lechaf Zechut, like so many concepts in Jewish life may seem counter-intuitive, yet we can see that like so many things in Jewish life, it is so right and so true. We know how many times we have been hurt by others. We are suspect of our dearest friends, our co-workers, our closest family relations – our spouses, our children. They are hurting us on purpose. They don’t care enough to call us back. They didn’t invite us to that wedding on purpose. They are driving recklessly for no reason. Money is missing from my wallet. I wonder if he took it. He is yelling for no reason. She ignored me when she could have said hello. They cut in line when I have been waiting longer. They sold us a piece of junk and they knew it. They are purposefully withholding their love and affection from us. And on and on and on. The best way to be convinced of the importance of judging favorably is to be the one suspected. Being in a position where onlookers assume we are doing one thing, while we know we are doing something quite different, teaches us how easy it is to draw wrong conclusions. When we are misjudged, that’s when we begin to really appreciate the value of judging others favorably.

Dan Lechaf Zechut, giving the other person the benefit of the doubt, as a middah tovah, a positive personal quality of character, reflects a general outlook on life. If we are really serious about creating the kind of compassionate, responsible, loving community toward which we strive, then in our interactions with others, giving the benefit of the doubt is an absolute must. In the end it will make our community whole and our community holy. I know it’s hard work, but it is our sacred and critically important duty.